Hornbill Unleashed

January 7, 2011

Six Malaysian jokes

Filed under: Alternatives — Hornbill Unleashed @ 12:00 AM
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1. Najib, Pak Lah, and Old man Mahathir were patrolling in a helicopter.

Old Man Mahathir: “If I drop a piece of RM1000 note from here, the person that picks it up must be very happy.”

Pak Lah: “If I throw two pieces of RM500notes down, it will make 2 persons happy.”

Najib: “If I drop TEN pieces of RM100notes, there will be 10 happy people.”

The pilot murmuring to himself: “Why don’t all of you just jump down from here, that will make 25 million people happy.”


2. Samy V wished to enhance his reputation by publishing a series of stamps with his portraits.

1 month after the launch, Samy surveys its sales.

Post Office Chief: “Not bad… but we got quite a number of complaints that the glue is not strong enough.”

Samy:  : “Really…?”

He spits at the back of the stamp and sticks the stamp on an envelope:  “The glue seems ok.”

Post Office Chief::  “Yes, but every one spits on the front of the stamp ….”


3.  Midnight, Najib went for supper and bumped into a robber.

Robber: “Give me all your money!!”

Najib was very angry: “I am the honorable Prime Minister!”

Robber: “Well, then … return all my money.”


4.  One fine day, Najib, Muyahiddin and parliament members were on the way to a meeting where they all crashed in an accident and was rushed to the hospital.

The reporters were at the hospital, the  doctor shook his head “We have done our best to rescue the PM but …”

Reporters:”How about Muyahiddin?”

Doctor:”We were unable to rescue him either …”

Reporters:”Who have you saved?”

The doctor was excited:”Malaysia is now saved!”


5.  Samy V visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients hurray for him but there is one patient who ignored Samy.

Samy: “Why does he not welcome me?”

Doc: “He is normal today (not insane).”


6.  Election campaign time — car load of politicians were involved in a car accident.

A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead.
He buried all the passengers.

Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer and asked where all
the politicians were and was told that they had all been buried.

Police: “Did they all die?”

Farmer: “Hmmm, Samy was screaming that he is still alive when I buried him”

Police: “Then why you bury him anyway?”

Farmer: “Because Samy never tells the truth.”


  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by vicenté lim, Calvin Bill. Calvin Bill said: Six Malaysian jokes. LOL http://bit.ly/dPbb2P […]

    Pingback by Tweets that mention Six Malaysian jokes « Hornbill Unleashed -- Topsy.com — January 9, 2011 @ 11:09 PM | Reply

  2. I heard those jokes from friends before the 2008 election. Very funny when you hear other people telling it live.

    Comment by reza_ubi — January 8, 2011 @ 6:36 PM | Reply

  3. An open letter to all Malaysians


    Comment by Bobby — January 7, 2011 @ 7:54 PM | Reply

    • What you wrote is only useful in a mature two-party system politics, like that of the US and UK. In Malaysia we cannot indulge in lazy-man politics because the ruling elite will and have, used suppression and homicide to keep themselves in power. The people will have to resort to political organisation to strengthen themselves in a bloody fight with the ruling elite. Only when the elite is defeated, will the people be sovereign and strong. After that, we can have a more refined level politics such as that of the US and UK.

      Comment by Bourgeois Revolution — January 8, 2011 @ 9:43 AM | Reply

      • Perhaps you’re right.
        But it does start with the voters, US.
        This election will see the rural people still being “duped” by the incumbents.
        In the urban areas, you will see voters choosing the best candidate available.
        If there’s a way to educate them to choose a better candidate, well, that’s up for debate.
        In that sense, I support the MCLM for what they’re doing.

        Comment by Bobby — January 8, 2011 @ 10:16 AM | Reply

  4. That’s cool. Keep it up HU.

    Comment by Bourgeois Revolution — January 7, 2011 @ 12:21 PM | Reply


    I have done a roll call and the head count for headhunters are:

    HH1M -present (didn’t forget myself)
    HH2M -present
    HH3M -present
    HH4M- present
    HH5M- ?
    HH6M- ?
    HH7M- ?
    HH8M- present
    HH9M- ?
    HH11M- ?
    HH13M to HH17M not present

    Sorry to say the others have not signed up. Please report for duty.

    The parade ground drill and weapons training course will be explained by HH2M.

    HH4M will be explained how to provide food aid. Organise a car rally to ulu Baram with bags of rice and other provisions for Penans…


    Comment by Headhunter1million — January 7, 2011 @ 12:55 AM | Reply

  6. Your jokes were tasteless but I laughed anyway especially the first one!

    Comment by Chew Ying Kam — January 7, 2011 @ 12:44 AM | Reply

    • jokes are tasteless…..you must be joking! guess you got not sense of humour la…but the most point here is not the jokes..is the messages lah..

      Comment by Headhunter4million — January 8, 2011 @ 2:27 AM | Reply

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